Today, I was up and awake by 5:30am. On a Monday morning. This may be the norm for many people, but I have struggled to get to this point. I have three reasons that it was hard for me and three reasons that I’m struggling to do it anyway.
It’s super hard for me because:
1. I have a two year old whose sleep schedule is anything but regular. I volunteered to be the spotter for my son’s nighttime and super super early morning jaunts. I work part-time at this point in my life while my husband regularly works more than 50 hours per week. In order for my husband to get more rest, I take the crazy hours and get a nap when I can. This is the main reason I have struggled, for two years, to get into a morning routine.
2. I love to spend time with my night-owl husband. He is my best friend. He is more of a night owl. His “witching hour” for creativity (he’s also a writer) and life-in-general is somewhere between 10:30pm and 3am. I would (and have in the past) struggled to keep my eyes open at these times! My time is the morning. Going to bed on time in order to get up in the morning is difficult when there’s an “attractive nuisance” in the next room.
3. I Procrastinate. There is always something else that needs to be done. Some other reason for not sitting down to WRITE.
Three reasons I’m doing it anyway.
1. Personal Fulfillment. I love….to write. It’s been the juice that fuels my soul since I was very young. In fact, to remind myself of this, I still have the “book” I wrote when I was 7-ish years old. I’ll have to go pull out this embarrassing memento of my past and post a photo here. I remember reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck at the same age and thinking, this is what I want to do. It’s the reason I went to school for English and hung in there when I was reading page 300 THOUSAND of Madame Bovary at 2am and micro-sleeping every time I blinked my eyes. It’s the reason I took every creative writing course they offered for undergrads, submitted (and was published in) the campus creative writing publication and sighed enviously when I heard the graduate students for Creative Writing MFA talking about their latest projects. I would listen to them as we worked together at the campus writing center where I was also a tutor and got to un-gracefully knock knees under tables and bump elbows with those grad students. Not always by accident…
2. Financial Opportunity. Like anyone and everyone else in this world, I want a better life for my family. Even a small income from writing, if I could generate it, would make a big difference in when my husband will be able to retire. Which college my son will be able to attend. How much money I have to spend on fresh produce at the store. You get the picture.
3. Creating Catharsis for Others. The world that we live in demands self-control. A poker face. If you’re crying at your desk at work, you could get fired. Sure, there are so many arguments about why you might get a pass on this…but in the real world, if you show weakness, you will be eaten alive. So, shove down your emotions and get on with your day. Hold back the tears and the fear and work harder. Move faster. Focus on the job. So much gets pent up inside of us we’re on the verge of a national emotional breakdown. At least, that’s what it feels like to me. For me, I need an emotional release through art. Catharsis. Books, movies, artwork, music…they evoke emotions that draw from us what we hold back, down and inside. What corrodes us from the inside out. I have felt the sweet release of this magic emotional healing in so many stages of my life. When I was sad because my grandfather died. When I was stressed out because we were moving out of state. When I was feeling down because a friend blew me off. Through writing, I aspire to create for others a little of what I have been given.
There are so many reasons why I don’t have time to do this. But I’m going to write romance anyway.
What are you making time to do?
Awesome resources for just about anything you need in self-help/self-improvement and finances/business: